is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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