Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
