whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
