its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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