ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
