I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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