I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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