im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
