you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
