if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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