Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
