What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
