Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
