it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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