If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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