yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
