i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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