can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
