Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
