I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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