Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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