Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
