i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
