i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
