Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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