wanna go halves on a baby?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
