at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize