its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
