what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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