barbara walters just said penis...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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