Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
