you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
