i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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