So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
