I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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