You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
