I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
