The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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