he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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