I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
