Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
