So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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