i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
