I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
