The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
