The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
