Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
