why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
