sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize