I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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