sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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