That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
