Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
