Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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