I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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