sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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