I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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