so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Actions speak louder than pants.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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