my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
