Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
