But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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