I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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