What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
