my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
