I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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