So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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