I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
