she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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