I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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