Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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