can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize