Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
